hell

Steve Jobs
Circle I Limbo

Democrats
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Barack Obama
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Republicans
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Creationists
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

George Bush
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Scientologists
Circle VII Burning Sands

Hipsters
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

MFS v Walmart '09 Sign Tour

These are the official weekends and locations that the Missourians For Secession will be protesting walmart at:
(end time is whenever we are kicked off of the property)
2-22-09
Kirkwood Walmart - Beginning at 2PM
3-1-09
Maplewood Walmart - Beginning at 2PM
3-8-09
St. Louis Walmart (Telegraph Road) - Beginning at 2PM
3-15-09
Arnold Walmart - Beginning at 3PM
3-22-09
House Sprigs Walmart - Beginning at 3PM
3-29-09
Eureka Walmart - Beginning at 3PM
4-5-09
Town and Country - Beginning at 3PM

Finale:
4-11-09 & 4-12-09
Fenton Walmart
I have no idea when this one will start, or if it will ever end, but this is the one were everything is gonna go down.

Join the Missourians For Secession, The Sign(s), The Bull Horn, and The Camera for a jolly good time battling the massive corporation that has taken the lives and livliehoods of too many.

-A Missourian For Secession

Those are Missouri's Trees, Not Yours!

Missourians for Secession,

Tomorrow (February 15th, 2009) there is a protest being help at the Gemp Property (at Sappington and Eddie and Park) to protest the proposition to cut down trees there. The Missourians For Secession have decided to make an appearence. This is not because we 'care' for the 'environment' (nothing could be further from the truth). This is because the loss of these trees will hinder our movement. How? Well, it is obvious: trees are photosynthesizing organisms, photosynthesizing organisms create oxygen, humans breath oxyge. Therefore, a loss of trees means a loss of oxygen, which puts Missourians and thus the Missourians For Secession in danger. We are protesting this direct attempt to suffocate all those who dissent from the orders of the government of the United States of America tomorrow. Let it be known: WE (the missourians for secession) ARE NOT ENVIRONMENTALIST PANZY ASS LIBERALS! We are Missouri Nationalist who give a damn about the oxygen levels in our states (for we believe that Missourians deserve the best) and we are willing to protest this.

Now, if you happen to be free tomorrow afternoon, please, feel free to join us in our most nobel endevour.

- A Missourian For Secession

Change in the White House, no change here

Many secessionists throughout the United States of America may indeed be tempted by the inauguration of Barack Hussein Obama yesterday to give up secession attempts and blissfully, ignorantly, and stupidly run to his call for "unity". DO NOT DO THIS. We still need to secede.

New Year - New Movement

The Missourians For Secession are working on two major movements right now:
1) Operation: INTERNET: Wikipedia-
This branch of operation internet is solely devoted to getting the Missourians For Secession a lasting Wikipedia page, we had one that was well cited but once a page was added for The People's Democratic Republic of Missouri, the Wikipedia users deleted both citing "lack of reliable sources and lack of notability" which are obviously both bullshit. In the new year, the Missourians For Secession are trying to increase said "notability" by getting more attention drawn to our most noble movement by getting into the news. The goal of this movement is to get the Missourians For Secession a lasting Wikipedia page, which brings us to movement two, a method for getting reliable sources (news) and notability (news).

2) 'MFS v. Wal-Mart' Sign of Secession Tour 2009-
Essentially this movement has two important factors:
1. People want to see our famous sign which appeared at the VP debates, and on Election Day
2. As soon as we secede Wal-Marts will be declared illegal and the management of any Wal-Marts which does not comply will be subject to trial by a Missourians For Secession Crimes Against Humanity Tribunal (essentially, we will be bringing economic justice to the masses once we come into power) so we will convey our anti-wal-mart platform.

We will do this by actively protesting outside of eight area Wal-Marts sometime later in the first quater of this year. We will be bringing the sign, an acoustic guitar, and a battery power megaphone. We'll be giving speeches, singing secession songs, and being all-around mavericks.

Stay tuned for the finalized dates.

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men... Yeah Right!

Today is December 23rd, 2008 and we are two days away from Christmas. This holiday is a confused mix of secular and religious traditions that cover all the bases from materialistic consumerism to masses at midnight. 98% of Americans have decided to celebrate this day in some way shape or from, whether that be giving gifts, spending time with family, eating, or any other escapist practices; people love Christmas. But I don't. No, as a Missourian For Secession, I am not permitted to. I am called to avoid the temptation to escape the current state of the union for the euphoric high presented by presents, family, and food. I must keep my ears open, my eyes alert, and my senses at the ready. We cannot turn a blind eye upon the shadowy forces that control us around the world. We must remain awake. So I plead you, my fellow secessionists, do not allow yourself one ounce of happiness or pleasure on this sick excuse of a vacation from the watchful eyes of the people, but watch. Watch and be ready.
Also, the fascist motherfuckers who run Wikipedia have decided that our Wikipedia page is not reliable and that we are not notable. There are two solutions to this:
1) You all go and edit our Wikipedia page and in the description tell them how wrong it would be to delete our page
or
2) Make us notable. How? Violence, of course. Essentially what I mean by this is: set fire to police cars, bomb government buildings, murder people from Illinois, burn down Wal-Marts, ect.

That is all I have for now, but until we speak again, please work on Operation: INTERNET (Intergalactic National Tactical Eradication of Remaining Networks Evading Truth) and have a very miserable Christmas.

-A Missourian For Secession

Secedepedia

This is how I (a Missourian For Secession) spent my day yesterday:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missourians_for_secession#Missourians_For_Secession

So, as you can see, Operation: INTERNET is going very well.